


When Chores Don't Entirely Suck

by RaspberryBrain



Series: Never Crush on a Luthor [1]
Category: DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Foe Yay, M/M, X-ray Vision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-21 19:19:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11950926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryBrain/pseuds/RaspberryBrain
Summary: Kon has trouble not flirting with Tim Drake-Luthor. Also, why does Superdog not have a secret identity?





	When Chores Don't Entirely Suck

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tim Luthor: An Oral Not!Fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/331908) by [bessyboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessyboo/pseuds/bessyboo), [moonling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonling/pseuds/moonling). 



> There’s this super entertaining Oral Not!fic about Tim Drake ending up as a Luthor sidekick instead of a Robin. A ton of people were really inspired by it and one person wrote a very nice first chapter for the premise. I really enjoyed both of these and thought I’d put this scene out there in case any of those people writing wanted to use this, or just giggle at it.
> 
> 1: [Tim Luthor: An Oral Not!Fic by bessyboo & moonling](http://archiveofourown.org/works/331908)  
> 2: [Pilot: Pendulum by Vodka112](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6294565)

Walking Krypto is sort of great and sort of the worst. On the one hand, he’s funny as hell to play around with and cute girls always ask to pet him. On the other, dogs chase things and shit and don’t particularly care if their walker’s secret identities are endangered by them occasionally _flying_. So it’s definitely a mixed bag. Kon would probably never do it if Lois wasn’t all “take some responsibility” and sort of more terrifying than the justice league member she was married to. But she was. So he did. At least it was pretty out: sunset orange everywhere and a warm breeze straight out of Hawaii.

 

Kon and his wandering thoughts were both yanked to a stop by tension on Krypto’s leash. The dog was sniffing in circles aaand – “Oh come on, man! You can’t just do that in the middle of the sidewalk!” Kon sighed. His mantra repeated in his head: _nice day, nice dog, non-angry Lois._ Kneeling down to retrieve Krypto’s little gift with a plastic bag, he registered the sound of a jogger slowing behind him. “Sorry, sorry, just go around.” Kon gestured with the hand holding the leash. 

 

“Connor?” a familiar voice questioned. Kon’s head jerked up. It took him a second to adjust to the strange context. The jogger wore an outsized track suit that must have been stiflingly hot in the summer air. Sweat plastered curls of dark hair to his cheeks and literally dripped from his pointed chin. Kon wasn’t used to looking up at the smaller boy. He looked good all messed up and flushed with exertion. He also _wasn’t_ holding a bag of dog shit. “Uh… Hi Tim.” Little alarms in his head for _tactics! what’s happening? Kryptonite??_ were fighting with other alarms with the distinctly different message of _cute guy! say something cool!_ Tim beat him to any sort of action – which can’t have been hard – when he broke the awkward silence. “Is he yours? The dog, I mean.” Kon takes a moment to answer, totally not watching a drop of sweat run into Tim’s collar. “Clark’s, but you know I take care of him and stuff.” He stands, trying to exude pet related responsibility. 

 

Looking around, something’s missing. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to have scary bodyguards around 24/7?” Tim snorts, expression becoming a little more natural. “I _do._ ” He points to a jogger on the other side of the street, “Hope,” to a sedan with tinted windows, “ and Charity. When one lives with Lex Luthor, all boo boos are bandaged twice, privacy is an illusion, and going outside requires at least a bazooka for whatever he’s worried about today.” Okay, this was definitely a side of the Luthors he hadn’t seen before. The elder mother-henning and Jr. _not_ completely overdoing any safeguard. “Ah, right… Did you just say ‘boo boos’?” Tim shrugged. “It’s been at least 10 years since everyone I knew was saying it. I figure it’ll be retro any day now.” A laugh burst out of Kon before he knew what he was doing. 

 

Krypto wasn’t sure what was going on, but clearly felt the break in the tension. His tail started wagging and he jumped at Tim in the completely innocent and completely terrifying way big dogs had. With an athletic prowess he hadn’t been showing to Connor Kent, Tim dodged. Kon grabbed the dog he was _supposed_ to have control over by the middle and held him down trying not to show how much super strength was involved “No! No, bad dog! Sit or something!” Tim’s face had gone pale in an instant. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” Kon winced. When Tim replied there was a slight wobble in his voice that didn’t mesh with the kung-fu movie leap he’d just made. “You’re fine. I’m just not good with… is he like, a mastiff or something?” Tim made a gesture across the street and bodyguard #1 returned to her fake casualness. “We’re not sure.” Kon said, warily letting Krypto back down but keeping hold on his collar (which unlike the leash was actually made of Kryptonian level material). “He was a stray when Clark found him. He’s really friendly though, even if he doesn’t really get that he’s a giant.” Kon was embarrassed, why was he so embarrassed? Luthor junior was the international criminal who apparently had house-pet-phobia. 

 

Krypto was looking really sad now, all ‘what’d I do? Why no pets?’ His tail slowing from helicopter to a confused beat every few seconds. Tim took a deep breath and reached out to gently rub the mutt’s head. Krypto cheered up immediately but stayed on the ground with the reminder of Kon’s hand on his collar. “You can do it harder if you want” _Well that sounded extremely wrong. Maybe Tim didn’t notice that slip up there_. “I’m pretty sure this guy was a tank in a past life or something.” Kon demonstrates a Krypto style head rub that made his ears flop around and his dog tags jingle. He wondered for a brief moment if a human had enough comparative strength for the maneuver, but Tim was doing fine. He had this look of concentration on his face that was pretty cute considering the context. “What’s his name?” Tim asked in a voice that was only a little tighter than normal. “Kry–“ oh no. Why did the super dog not have a secret identity? What was he going to do? What friggn’ _normal_ dog name started with ‘kry’? “Krypto.” Well, great job Kon, very creative.

 

Tim’s face scrunched up for a moment “Krypto?” and then he laughed. “Oh my god, Clark Kent named his giant, puppy after Superman?” Relief washed over Kon. “Well, I mean, he’s a bit of a fan.” Tim’s still laughing. “That really seems like more of something Lex would do.” Kon rolled his eyes. “Oh haha, that was _so_ funny. At least Superman cleans up after himself.” Tim razes an eyebrow. “Agree to disagree.” Kon doesn’t know what to say for a moment. “Fine. So what’s a Luthor pet do? Day trading?” Krypto’s sort of head-butting Tim’s hand now, distracting him from Kon’s sick burn. “Lex doesn’t participate in any investment that doesn’t result in a real product. And I don’t think he’s ever had a pet. I haven’t.” Well, that was sort of depressing. Even super villains were supposed to have cats or something. Not sure what the investing bit meant but that was boring anyway. For never having had a pet, Tim was doing pretty good with Krypto now. Probably not great to teach Krypto that Tim wasn’t a threat, but they could maybe do something about that later. 

 

“I’m gonna let go of his collar now, ‘kay?” Tim looked a little startled. “What should I do?” Kon smiled. “You’re fine. Just keep up what you’re doing.” He let go and all Krypto did was cuddle closer to Tim. “Oh” the other boy breathed out a laugh. “You’re not scary at all, are you?” 

“He eats a scary amount.” Kon assured him. “Oh, I believe you.” Tim said emphatically. He raised the hand that wasn’t petting Krypto to his own neck, pointer and middle finger to his pulse and was silent for a moment. “Well, my heart rate is going down, now that I’m not being mauled or anything. I better get back to it. See you at school tomorrow.” He walked to the end of the leashes reach before starting up his run again. “See you.” Kon replied. The female Jogger across the street picked up her speed too. The sedan moved a moment later. Kon stayed still waiting for Tim to round the corner before moving himself.

 

He really didn’t mean to keep looking, but he really didn’t have great control over the x-ray vision yet, and it just kept popping into normal friggin’ life. It was totally fine to look through the building, but if he could pull it back from looking through Tim’s _clothes_ that would be just great. Man, the guy had way more muscle than anyone his size rightfully should. There were some surgical pins in his left knee and hip. He wondered what hair-brained (or bald-brained) scheme had gotten him those, then caught himself and rushed to turn his eyes to the ground, where all he saw were… ick. How many rats could one city have? Think about the rats, nasty gross, boner killing rats in storm drains. Had Tim been wearing a kevlar vest? That would explain the bulky clothing for a summer run and all that sweat with the extra weight of the armor… Rats. Unsexy horrible rats…Man, being a human in this business must be nerve wracking.

 

Krypto was pulling on the leash and whining, nose pointing to the path Tim had taken. Kon sighed. "Can't say I disagree man, but it's so not a good idea."

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I did metaphor! Is it stupidly obvious or so subtle that it doesn’t help with anything? Or good, I suppose it could be good. Possibly. Now go read / listen to the inspiring works! They will make you giggle!
> 
> 1: [Tim Luthor: An Oral Not!Fic by bessyboo & moonling](http://archiveofourown.org/works/331908)  
> 2: [Pilot: Pendulum by Vodka112](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6294565)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I have tumlr. If anyone wants to talk that'd be fun. Do people talk on tumblr? I'm not a good millennial. RaspberryBrain.tumblr.com


End file.
